February 2018 Gratitude List

1 Mar 2018

February was difficult. I feel like I've betrayed you guys a little bit because I've put on a bit of a happy face on my blog, but behind the scenes, I've had a pretty rough time. My second semester of university has been a lot and the more I thought about it, the more worried I got about how I'm going to fit everything in. I'd be running two different campaigns for two different places, writing a 5000 word essay, writing two other assignments, finding time to blog, work my bar job, carry on managing and writing 5 posts a week on the WI site and still be a functioning human being. It's felt almost impossible and at the time of writing this, I haven't fully got into the swing of things, so spare a little thought for me and my stressed self. As always though, this post isn't a place for me to rant and moan, but a place for me to talk about what was good about the month. Even though it's been full of tears and days where I haven't wanted to move from the bed, there were little things that got me through.

  1. Realising how strong I am - I'm not about to start preaching about inner strength and all that jazz, but the things that I mentioned above have really outlined to me how strong I really am. I keep telling myself that it will pass eventually and I'll be up on the stage, holding my Masters degree. I've also been telling myself that the effort I put in now and the stress that I go through will be so beneficial in the future. I know that I can manage these next few months (and if not, I know that there are people on hand that can help me) and pull through with good grades.
  2. Finalising everything for Poland - as you may or may not know, J and I are off to Krakow next month, and we've pretty much got our itinerary in place now. I'm the type of person that likes to have structured days out with a plan of where we're going to go and what we're going to see, and I'm pleased that we're sorted now! The only day that we haven't got anything booked on is my birthday and I think we might just leave that free to explore the city and do a spot of shopping.
  3. Having my student loan - this may seem a bit stupid, but as a Masters student, I received my student loan so much later than the undergraduate students. January had been such a struggle for me, so to actually have some money and pay some bills last month felt great. It also meant that I could do a bit more baking, as you may have noticed from February's blog content!
  4. Making an effort to be less of a socially awkward dweeb - it's no lie that I find social situations difficult. I often can't look people in the eye when they talk to me, get tired from being around people for too long and get flustered at the thought of having to go somewhere new with people that I don't really know. But in February, I made a bit more of a conscious effort to come out of my shell a bit more and talk to people. I volunteered myself to be in a group with people that I've never worked with before at university and I've been the one to set up a meeting with the organisation we're doing a project for, which is big for me! I've also just become a lot closer to the people around me and I'm trying to form some bonds with people that will last (I'm a serial ditcher - once I feel like I'm starting to get suffocated by a friendship, I'm out of there).
  5. Giving myself some down-time - I think that I've mentioned on here before that I'm a person that likes to be busy, but not overwhelmed. I used to find giving myself a break kind of difficult, but in February, I was all over that! I think I've started to value my mental health more and so I've realised the importance of having time for myself. So I managed to read a fair bit, I've done cross-stitching and I've watched a few episodes of First Dates Hotel, all whilst in the comfort of my PJs! And do you know what? It's felt fab and I can't wait to have more quiet days in March.
While these aren't very exciting things like going to major events or anything like that, but it'll do for me! They show that I'm progressing with internal things as well as external things, and to be honest, I've found this post very therapeutic to write because of that. During this crazy turbulent time that I'm in right now with trying to balance everything, it's been nice to reflect and see how I've developed. Anyway, enough waffling, be sure to come back in April to see how I got on in March!

Whould you like to comment?

  1. It's always important to give yourself some down-time, I try to schedule it in for me at least once a week so I can clear my head and feel relaxed. I hope you have a lovely March :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal