Where Have I Been? - A Huge Life Update

1 Jun 2018

Wow... long time, no see! It's been well over a week since I posted anything on here and that's the longest I've gone without publishing for quite some time. However, I'm pleased to say that this silent period is over. I'm back and I'm (hopefully) better than ever, but let me explain what's been going on since I was last here. Let's just call this a replacement for my May gratitude list...

Where have I been?
Life has quite a funny way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. I had been kidding myself for the longest time that I was happy, but really, it was just a mask. That analogy of ducks looking calm on the surface while their little legs are kicking away under the water has never been applicable than in this situation. I was putting on a brave face for everyone, but inside, I was crumbling. Yes, I was doing amazingly well at university and achieving so many things in blog land, but the stress was getting to me and it was weighing so heavily on my mental health. I was moving further and further into myself, things weren't great at home and I was losing my passion for anything at all. I hadn't touched a book in weeks, let alone baked anything or picked up my cross stitching project that I started 2 years ago (which I'm so close to finishing - this will be the year!).

We also lost someone who was close to the family and that shook me to my core. It actually shook me a lot more than I expected, and this isn't something that I'd usually say on here, but on the day that it happened, I sat for hours wrapped in my duvet, alternating between crying and sleeping. I like to pride myself on being a strong person and having the ability to pick myself up after something knocks me, but this really hit me hard. I had to cancel all the plans I had for the rest of the day and the placement that I had the following day to just be on my own. It was so difficult to wrap my head around, that someone so young wasn't alive anymore, and I do still get sad about it now, but it's taught me to make the most of now and appreciate the people you have.

On to the bit that I was extremely terrified of writing down. Because of this series of events, I called off my engagement to J, and even though it was me that did the 'breaking up', I was still heartbroken. We spent an amazing 5 and a half years together and the pair of us have grown into pretty amazing people. He's helped me in ways that no other person could and I will be forever grateful, but for the sake of my mental wellbeing, it's better that we aren't together. No one did anything bad and in some ways, that made the break up more difficult, but we're still friends, which is exactly what I want.

So to say that's been a rough couple of weeks would be an understatement, but I'm in a really great place now. The magic of family and friendship has been my saving grace throughout all of this, and I'm eternally thankful for the people that I have around me. But enough emotional stuff... let me tell you about what's to come!
What's to come?
In amongst these sad bits, I've had the most amazing opportunity come through for me and my blog. I would say it's probably the biggest thing that I've been asked to do so far and I'm ridiculously excited (but also kind of terrified) to do it. On July 1st, Cake Fest will be held in my hometown of Middlesbrough, and this involves the people of the town baking landmarks or well-known areas and bringing them to the town hall, which has just been newly refurbished. They will be turned into a giant edible map before the best five are picked, then afternoon tea is served. It's bound to be a great day and I've been asked to make a cake for it, as well as share my progress on social and create video content. I may or may not have shot myself in the foot because I've chosen to make Baker Street, one of the most colourful and busy streets in the town, but I'm up for the challenge! I've also got the help of some fab people around me who are keeping me organised and attempting to stop me from losing my head.

As well as making a cake for this event, I'm also going to be doing some promotional TV work around it. It's something that I didn't expect to come from it, but yes, my little face is going to be on regional TV, talking about cake and Middlesbrough - two of my favourite things! I have to make a practise cake for this, so wish me luck! No doubt I'll be sharing screenshots and, if I can get hold of it, the actual video of my interview, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

Aside from that, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of blogging alongside working on my final project for university. I'm well within distinction distance, so that will definitely be taking priority, but you haven't heard the last of me yet!

Whould you like to comment?

  1. Thank you for being so open and sharing your life with us, Olivia. I hope you are beginning to feel better about things but I know how hard that can be! It seems to me that you are entering a slightly new/different phase of life, so I hope that that really gives you a new perspective on things and helps you! We're here for you too!

    Anna // Zu Hause